Gay All The Time

The hardest part so far seems the morning, right after that first cup of coffee. Man do I crave for a cigarette, but that went last night. Only 1 cigar left, and I suppose part of this whole kicking of the habit, is ignoring those cravings, or routines.

I am a creature of habit too, which has to make this harder. I prefer my routine, and that first smoke was part of it. Then too, there is Molly, our dog. Poor thing getting the brunt of my withdrawal too. Course, the wife couldn’t have picked out a nice docile dog, he had to get the little cute puppy, a Jack Russel Terrier.    Cute, yes… docile? NOT A CHANCE!

To see she is difficult is an understatement. I find I am losing patience quicker, but holding back. She loves to bark at the tree moving in the wind, and boy is that ever fun, when you feel like the world is caving in.

Going to try cinnamon sticks.  The neighbour used to suck on them when he kicked the habit, and I am hoping it’ll help me reduce the cravings. This should be different.

So far, it seems to be the nervousness, the anxiety that is the worse. You try to keep it down, and it takes a lot to do. You really do have to think about it, to not automatically react to things like the dog barking and barking and barking.

You get the idea too, that this isn’t worth it. You feel like maybe the stress just isn’t worth the benefits of quiting, but deep down you know that isn’t true. You try to fool yourself, give yourself an excuse for going out and starting all over. Friggin hell, this isn’t easy.